I Won't Go
by Diona Christei
Summary: How Far Are you willing to go for the ones you love? Are you willing to Forget the love they gave? Are you willing to forget the biggest part of your life?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello everyone, **_

**I'm back, so to speak…I know it has been a while. I'm sure that some wondered why I just left my stories unfinished and the truth was in that letter I posted. That and I lost my muse. So until I get back in the swing of things I'm going to be writing one shots. I feel awful about starting something and not finishing it and I don't want to bite off more than I can chew so this is my first short fan fic. I right everyday but post nothing as I have very strong issues about bearing my feelings for everyone to see. That is what writing is after all even if it's only fan fic. It is suppose to be a one-shot but of course I left it open both ways so that I can turn it into a full length story it is well liked. I was listening to my ipod when **_**Adele's He won't go **_**came on. Now normally depending on what type of mood I'm in I skip her songs and they are good to listen to when your reminiscing and such. Today though I was half sleep and I was actually able to hear the words. Strange I know but music is my life even though I'm not a really good musician I can appreciate an artists hard work in putting it together, but I digress. All of a sudden I could see a scene or two for my original work come to life right behind my eyes. I wanted to see if it would blow over well so I changed some components jotted down my idea and went back to sleep. While I slept the scene was somewhat the same and it was Hermione and Draco. It played out like it actually belonged in the movie or so I thought. So I got up and wrote it down and here it is. This like all my other works of art...or trash depending on your view are my babies. So please no flames just for the sake of belittling my work. I know that I have bad grammar, but this is just an outlet and seeing as I have no beta yet it will have to remain a sloppy copy as my English teacher used to say. I hope to have a beta by the time I decide to write the full length version. But enough of that please enjoy.**

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><p><em><strong> I Won't Go<strong>_

It hurt to be here but I knew that it was where I needed to be. No one had known about us so it wasn't much of a surprise to me that no one understood why I was upset. Draco and I had been seeing each other since 3rd year unbeknownst to anyone. We had been the best couple that no one knew about. It was funny how it didn't bother me to be with him secretly, it was in essence part of both our lives…secrets that is. Most of my life since entering the magical world turned into secrets and speculation. What people saw was a know it all 'mud blood' with bucked teeth and frizzy hair. What the got when they actually took time to know me was an intelligent woman with a love for learning and a willingness to help. That was what had landed me with Draco in the first place, his father was beating him and I happened to be the one who ran across him after it had happened. It was never an easy road but we were perfect for each other. We had used some of my family's money to buy a flat in muggle London so far out of the way that even the most skilled navigator wouldn't find. I had obliviated the real-estate agent and we put a fidelis charm on it. It was untraceable, just what we needed in this type of life.

I didn't want to turn the light on because for some reason I couldn't bear the thought of shedding a brighter light on the memories that I was already having trouble suppressing. Walking through the living room I bumped into the end table and knocked its contents fell on the floor. Instinctively I bent to pick them up. A lump formed in my throat when I realized that these were pictures that Draco and I had taken a while back. One was a picture of when we confessed our love for one another. I was instantly thrown into the memory as if the picture frame was the molten liquid of a pensive and the picture was the memory.

"_Mom…hey is it okay if Draco and I spend the night? Tomorrow is Christmas and it seems pointless to travel home just to come right back." I asked coming through the door to my parent's extremely modest house. _

"_Don't you think it'd have been polite to wait until she answered the door?" Draco asked with an amused look on his face._

"_My family isn't as formal as yours is, I'm not a pureblood remember? We don't have the whole decorum thing to keep up."_

"_So anyone can waltz into your house?"_

"_Immediate family…yes, cousins and aunts that like to pinch your cheeks and tell you how big you're getting…not a chance." I was shaking the rain out of my umbrella as I explained it to him._

"_Isn't that a contradiction?" he asked copying me_

"_Oh yes, but that is my aunt Elaine. She is one huge contradiction. She loves kids and has 6 but has no clue as to what to do with them. They are almost as spoiled as you."_

"_Hey, I resent that"_

"_You're right I'm sorry" I said stealing a kiss before running to the kitchen to where my mother was cooking with headphones on her head. It wasn't the first time I had come home to find her hearing otherwise impaired so I leaned up against the wall and waited for her to notice me. Lucky enough for me it only took a few seconds more before she was startled and had her hand on her chest calming her heart._

"_Oh you gave me a start" she said pulling the headphones off of her ears and running a hand through her black hair._

"_Well, I was asking if we…meaning my boyfriend and I could stay."_

"_Oh, hi Draco dear I didn't see you there." she said giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek._

"_I told her to knock." he said smiling. From the moment he met my parents he had taken a liken to them. He spent 5 minutes in the kitchen with my dad the summer after third year and when he came out daddy had a huge grin and said he could come back whenever he wanted to. That was a hard feat to manage considering that I was only 14 at the time and daddy didn't want me to even be thinking about dating. Suffice to say that when we go on holiday he spends a little time with me and my family._

"_It's quite alright dear. As you can see I wouldn't have heard it anyway."_

"_Mom, you should really start locking the door when your home alone."_

"_And what good would that do against a bunch of people that want me dead. It would barely keep a…what do you call them again? Muggle?"_

"_Yes."_

"_It would barely keep a muggle out let alone a witch or wizard that truly wanted in."_

"_She had a point Genie." Draco said wrapping his arms around me._

"_I still can't believe she lets you call her Genie…had it been me I would have been well chastised." she laughed. I laughed with her knowing that she was telling the truth._

"_She loves me." he responded with a shrug as if it were confirmed. We had never spoken it out loud wanting to give the other time to think without pressure. I turned to search his eyes and what I found was his love for me._

"_Yeah I do." I said still searching his eyes._

"_I love you too." he whispered. A bit of a warning declaring ones love in front of your mother will end in embarrassment. Suffice to say or moment was ruined but the flash of a camera. _

"_Mom!"_

"_Don't mom me. The first time you say those words to someone and mean them is special. I took a picture so that you would remember it. You know like a baby's first step." she said wiping a tear from her eye._

"_Oh don't go crying on my woman, if you cry I'll cry and Draco will have to find someway to confirm he's a man because he'll cry with me." I said smiling._

"_No I won't." he said nuzzling my. "But do you really have a Baby book for Genie Mrs. G?"_

"_Oh I have several." she answered._

We had spent the rest of the night after dinner looking at baby pictures and I was surprisingly not as embarrassed as I thought I would be. When the memory finally let me go I noticed that I was crying. Mom was right, those are the things that you should want physical proof of. I began taking up photography in my spare time both muggle and magical. Because from then on I documented everything that happened in my life through pictures. I had hundreds of photos of schools and missions that I had gone on with Harry, it had honestly looked like an archive in the spare bedroom which we had turned into my dark room. It was mostly the pictures of Draco and I that made it to display around our flat because while I had one or two pictures of my best friends out. This house was our get away a place for us to forget about everything and everybody if only for a few minutes. As I continued my way through the flat changing the wards I noticed another picture on our Dresser. It happen fast like I knew it would, I was thrust head first into the pensive that was my own mind.

"_Well Genie it seems we have your parents house all to ourselves." Draco said in a suggestive tone._

"_Really Draco? My parents just left the house unprotected and you are worried about what we could do while they are in danger?" I snapped._

"_No, I'm worried about keeping you from worrying yourself to death. Baby I love you, but your parents have been leaving their house without you for a long time. True there are dangers out there but there are just as many dangers to them in the muggle word. They'll be fine." he said kissing my shoulder._

"_And if they aren't Draco, I don't think I would be able to live with myself if my parents died while I was snogging my boyfriend." I had shrugged away from him._

"_You are a morbid creature, well okay what about this? The tables are turned, what if the attack happened here, what would your parents feel if they knew you spent your last few minutes worrying about them instead of being happy."_

"_That's different." I snapped._

"_Oh do tell." the sarcasm was heavy in his voice._

"_I can protect myself and of course I would be worried."_

"_So, you don't think they would be sad knowing that their daughter died without having experienced all life has to offer."_

"_You are a sleaze Draco; you are trying to get me to sleep with you."_

"_Is that wrong? Sex is one of the things life has to offer." he said huskily. I wasn't sure how he always managed to do it but he was able to both get his way and take my mind off of something at the same time. It was funny because a week after he discovered that little talent professors were shocked because I was on the same page as the rest of my classmates for once. He had managed to get me to stop studying in favor of a thorough snogging._

_I had lost my virginity that night to the man that I loved the most. I wanted him to be with me always. We were both coming down from out extremely blessed out state-though Draco refuses to call post orgasm bliss- when I summoned my cameras and took a picture of us._

"_I swear Genie you and those damn cameras are becoming a pain." he smirked._

"_Oh well we could always leave isn't that right?" I turned to the magical camera that was still rolling. _

"_I'm sorry love, but really you have to take a picture of us having sex?"_

"_We are no longer having sex so this isn't pornographic in anyway. This is us, barely covered…yes but it's us. The part that no one knows about."_

"_My girlfriend the romantic."_

"_My boyfriend the hidden sweetheart. Face it Draco you would do anything for me."_

"_I would…I would die for you too." he said kissing me again. Thus beginning round two of our love making._

But as it turned out he didn't really do all that much for me. He had left me to return to his father and to Voldemort. Told me that I wouldn't understand because I didn't come from that type of family. I knew what he had meant but I had begged him to let me understand. He just turned and walked away from me. That's how I had gotten here, even in my heartache I had to protect this place. I didn't want him bringing that filth through our house. I didn't much care for coming back myself. There were way to many memories for me here. It might have only been 3 years and we technically weren't living here the whole time but it was 1095 days of pure love and we had brought our memories with us. I still loved him which is why I couldn't come back.

After some surprisingly complex magic used to change the wards I went to my black room and turned on the red light. Everything was how I had left it last time I pushed a bookcase to the side and entered the little broom closet sized room. Inside was my actual pensive, I had made it for us. Draco told me that he had already put those memories in side it and obliviated himself. I was going to do the same; I couldn't live with being the only one that remembered. But first I was going leave him a note…leave us both a note. So that if we somehow remembered. We would know what happened between us.

_**Dear Draco,**_

_**If you are reading this then you have come back to this place. I won't pretend to like you right not because I don't. Yes I still love you but I can hardly stand to think about you without thinking about your betrayal. I know that I didn't fully understand why you left me maybe you reading this means that you are now able to tell me. If you noticed before that you tried to come back and couldn't find the spot or couldn't get in, it's because I changed the password and the wards. You can only get in if you need to. If you're reading this though you know that the password showed itself to you when your heart and soul came back to me. Not to worry I'm doing the same thing for myself as I'm getting rid of my memories. I can't live with them knowing you have no memory of our time together. At least I won't have to pretend anymore. I love you more than life itself, if we were really meant for each other then this is just an obstacle for us and it won't keep us apart. If we weren't then…well that is just the way life works I guess. Sometimes love doesn't last forever. **_

_**Until we're sure,**_

_**Genie.**_

I had gone back and made the corrections to my wards and then wrote the password on a charmed picture for the both of us. It was only to turn up if we truly wanted to come back. It worked through our heart not our mind. When I was done I set about erasing my memories the good and bad. It took a while because he was so ingrained in my life that I had to be careful not to remove the memories that I still needed. When I was done I locked the place up and grabbed our pictures. Sending his off on our bird and keeping mine in my hand. When I was outside I looked at our house once more praying that I would be back one day. Stepping outside of the charms of the property I held my wand to my head.

"Obliviate" I whispered. I was left standing there empty, I had a deep sadness but I couldn't figure out what for. "Where am I?" I asked out loud while looking around. I couldn't make out my surroundings but I noticed a picture of me in my hands. It was a rather cute picture one I must have taken of myself. All of a sudden the sadness in me welled up and I could have sworn I saw Malfoy hovering over me in the picture. Turning it over to see if it were a trick I could just make out the words I WON'T GO on the back before it faded. Taking with it the sadness, I was glad but freaked out that I had seen Malfoy in my picture. I turned it back over and knew that I had lost my mind because I was now the only one in the picture. Chalking it up to over studying I began walking back towards the street so I could go home. "As if I'd be close enough to that bloody Git to take a picture with him" I laughed on my way.

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><p><em><strong>Diona Christei<strong>_


	2. AN

**A/N: Should i continue? i could make it full length...it would be better if i knew people wanted to read it before i started it. that has had a huge part to play in stories that aren't being finished...no one is interested. or i hardly get feedback so i don't know if it's good or not.**


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